fascinating.

chris is endeavoring to be my beastie.

i don't know what this means.

anyone who can help, please do.

(let's, however, keep in mind the following:

1. chris has a lovely wife
2. this isn't an nc-17 blog
3. i have comment deletion rights
4. i am a NICE GIRL)

today is weird

grades are coming in today. i've got them all except the one i'm worried about. so far, my gpa is about the same... theory, come through for me...

anyhow, i fixed the link in the sidebar to thomas' blog. so i rule in that respect.

okay. back to knitting.

i love knitting lace.

i love love love it. it keeps me engaged, and it's purty. i'm not cool enough to design lace yet. but i love doing it.

here's a detail shot of the lace detail for bella (it'll be drapier and looser when it's blocked):

and here's approximately what it will look like on the top itself:

that's with seven (of approximately 28 --14 for the right, 14 for the left) repeats. it takes about 15 minutes to do a repeat, and i've not yet memorized the pattern. but i can tell what to do by looking at the ends... the middle sections of the rows i still need help with. also, i totally prefer the written form of patterns - charts for lace take me much longer to get used to. and i like things fast.

zooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

why i've been boring lately...

today i will knit, seam sleeves and lace onto sweaters, knit more, take a shower, go to brookstone for a chair massage, and go to the hospital for which i used to work and enjoy their open bar hors d'oeuvres and free chamber music concert. or maybe just the open bar and hors d'oeuvres.

update: i forgot apply for a hundred eleven forty three million jobs.

does admitting i've been a boring blogger lately absolve me of my boringness?

to be further boring, here's a meme i stole from crazy aunt purl (dude! she tagged the whole world and threatened sobakawa kitty chin hugs if they didn't comply!)

TEN random things you might not know about me.

1. my nose is chapped from all the nose-blowing
2. i love cheesy teevee that makes me cry
3. i love to cook
4. i love lemon cake
5. i don't like pie all that much
6. i have come to accept i will probably give up my dog when i graduate in june
7. i have wanted to have kids since i was 4
8. since i've been in grad school i've been questioning whether i want to have kids
9. i don't know if i can have kids
10. but if i do decide i want kids, i'll adopt special needs kids regardless of whether i have biological kids, because those kids need homes, and they especially need homes with people who want them and aren't afraid of the extra work, money, needs, or lifelong commitment of loving someone with special needs.

NINE places I’ve visited

1. the philippines
2. france
3. spain
4. netherlands
5. london
6. ireland
7. tijuana
8. portland, or
9. florida

EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. lemonyness
2. kill the bugs in my apartment
3. not sending flowers (don't like getting them)
4. give me xanax before i fly
5. good with babies - even the crying, fussy ones covered in poo
6. take my car for an oil change without me asking
7. be a good movie-watching companion
8. make my mama like you without trying

SEVEN things I want to do before I die

1. learn irish
2. fall in love
3. ride a bike
4. live somewhere with a washer and dryer
5. live in a former eastern bloc country
6. learn to play the banjo
7. speak at least 6 languages fluently

SIX things I’m afraid of

1. bugs
2. rabies
3. losing my hearing
4. marrying for the wrong reasons
5. horror movies
6. being murdered violently and painfully

FIVE things I don't like

1. sand
2. dirt
3. people who don't treat others with respect
4. spiders
5. biological weapons

FOUR ways to turn me off

1. talk smack about the people i love
2. disrespect people with disabilities
3. hit other people (including me)
4. be a terrorist

THREE Things I do everyday

1. sing
2. cry
3. laugh

TWO things that make me happy

1. advent
2. perfect weather

ONE thing on my mind right now

1. getting a good job

name that tune without google (or other cheating methods)*

"in our lifetime those who kill, the newsworld hands them stardom. and these are the ways on which i was raised. these are the ways on which i was, which i was raised. i never wanted to kill, i am not naturally evil. such things i do just to make myself more attractive to you. have i failed?"

the prize is... um... a surprise! (anyone have ideas for prizes?)

*mariama is ineligible for this quiz.

anyone?

i would LOVE a 90-minute back and shoulder massage. preferably with hot stones (no cold stones), cheesy new age music, and with only pure jojoba oil (i'm allergic to most massage oils).

who's going to give it to me? in the next 24 hours, please. no one creepy and nothing icky, either.

i'd actually like a full body massage, but i'm not letting just anyone do that. only a certified massage therapist can do that.

stupid thomas jefferson

well, not so much. but there's this book that mentions jefferson's dialogues between his head and his heart. i've never read them. but an allusion in a novel is good enough for me. 'cause we're all about fact-checking chez caribou.

i am SUCH a pragmatist. i would absolutely be an economist if i had the training. it's very rarely that i lead with my heart.

i've been in a situation where my head took control. the other element of the situation kept saying, "heather, you're so practical." until i eventually wore down and let the heart take the lead. but my head is still there (whew! i'd look funny without it) and its really valid issues are still weighing on me.

and i just need to find some sort of balance between the two. because living in one or the other is no good.

editor's note: as chris pointed out, this post makes no sense. unfortunately, it makes no sense to me. neither in my brain, my information processing centers, or on this blog. them's the breaks.

save my pleasure, i'm much better, but i won't regret it. never.

started cleaning the house for the decorating with the christmas stuff last night.

still have quite a way to go, but i'm totally excited. which is quite a feat because it doesn't feel at all like thanksgiving, much less that it's already passed. today, whilst babysitting, i hope to finish the second bella sleeve and at least start the lace. (i've finished, blocked, and attached the first sleeve to the completed top)

i have to weave in ends as i go along, and i have to attach pieces, especially those in pairs (like sleeves) as i go along because i hate seaming and weaving in ends.

it's my first time doing a saddle sleeve, but it came out okay - i am not crazy about my seaming job on the first sleeve but i'll do better next time.

happy monday, kids.

song to which i can't stop listening...*

"is this" by oingo boingo.


song to which i wish i were listening...*

"operator" by jim croce.
i can't find the CD and appear to have never uploaded it to the computer... i love that song. someday when i'm able to properly focus, i'll learn to play it, too.

*the preposition at the end of the title has been driving me bonkers.

good luck!

for some reason, i have a small segment of readers who are in law school at the south texas college of law. regardless of why that is (the origin is particleman who is on a blogging hiatus until the 13th, if you're curious), finals start tomorrow.

ugh.

i feel your pain (although my finals came in the form of papers and yours are exams), so i give you all my happy thoughts and wish you good luck. i'll see you when you come out the other side, kids!

you slip your hand in mine, in the distance the train's last call

is it stupid that my guitar is my first love? that i can neglect it for weeks on end, and after a slight tuning temper tantrum, it forgives me my neglect and taking it for granted? that it lets me forget the toils and drudge and soar into the world of sound? that it forgives me my failings and continues to resonate beneath my awkward fingers until they get to know how to love the care for the strings once again?

i've talked a lot about how i write deplorable music. luckily other people write amazing songs. i find there is such solace and comfort in those songs that are like returning home. dylan's "you're gonna make me lonesome", mitchell's "both sides now", wilcox' "catch me if i try", williams' "after all", mondlock's "the kid".

and there are the new songs. the ones that fill you with the thrill and excitement. the ones that don't quite fit as you learn how to act around each other, when to speak and when to hold your tongue. those songs like duvekot's "reasonland", teitur's "i was just thinking".

i thought tonight was for knitting.

it turns out it was for slipping back into my own skin after weeks of wandering without it.

why would you do that?

today, i heard a jazz, improv-ed cover of "smells like teen spirit."

ew.

not to hurt the feelings or whatever...

thomas, dorky is the same dorky.

this doesn't mean we can't be friends. it just means we can't be friends when other people are around. :)

i didn't want to kiss you anyway.

the kiss of death
(link via blogging baby)

hopefully this will answer the question, "can't you eat around them?"

no, i can't.

and i'm talking about FOOD, you perv.

are you lost?

two most bizarre search strings to wind up here this week?

• wear my pants 3 inches above my navel
• she always stomps me with her heels

welcome!

i think.

bowling is NOT listed on my resume under "special skills"

wednesday night was bowling and beer night. so yaymee and i had dinner at chili's. whilst at chili's yaymee wanted ketchup because ketchup (or catsup) is good.

so she just about tapped the bottle of ketchup on our table. and was getting mad at the ketchup for being gone. just as we were about to leave, we noted that there was a bottle of catsup RIGHT OVER HER SHOULDER which would have been nicer had it been on the table so as to not make the bottle that was nearly empty make rude noises. see the ketchup? there are three bottles in this picture:

this also led to a protracted discussion on condiments. here's the synopsis:

ketchup:

• yaymee: yay!
• heather: yay!

mustard:

• yaymee: yay!
• heather: yay!

mayo:

• yaymee: yay!
• heather: boo!

miracle whip:

• yaymee: sometimes yay!
• heather: yay!

horseradish:

• yaymee: yay!
• heather: yay!

relish:

• yaymee: boo!
• heather: boo!

there was more, but there were several interesting points raised. i think crushed red peppers are a condiment and not a spice since you add them AFTER the dish is completed in the eyes of the chef (or just after it's completed because i've added them to dinners after i thought they were completed). yaymee thinks they are a spice. this led into an etymological query about the origins of the word "condiment". i see "con-" as a prefix meaning "with" and "ment" as a root of "thought" or "mind". so i think it means to add them with thought, or thoughtfully added. turns out, i'm full of crap, as the link above proves, but i think i'm correct in calling crushed red peppers a condiment after reading its definiton (condiment, not crushed red peppers) that was when yaymee thought it was time for the bowling and beer. since that's what this post is about anyway, and all of my life rotates around blogging, i concurred.

we went to the new bowling alley at bel-mar which had new, non-skanky shoes. yay! i suck at bowling. we found our balls (hee hee) and started bowling. this was my goal for bowling:

• score over 100

my goals for bowling should have been:

• don't sprain your thumb - drat
• score over 80 - woo! 83! new all-time high!
• don't drop the ball on the backswing - it only happened once
• try not to look like a total dork - that one went out the window when i dropped the ball

but i was excited by breaking 70 so i took a picture. it was also yaymee's high score. see?

and since i have no shame, here's my score after our second game:

i was h dog, yaymee was, well, yayme. i wondered how many people would think that stood for "hot dog". no one asked. we almost left in our bowling shoes and left our real shoes under the fancy-schmancy table. it was a bowling lounge more than an alley. and it was expensive. but it was fun!

as of friday morning, i am still a confirmed bowling wussy. my thumb is sprained, my back and shoulders ache.

you can get anything you want at alice's restaurant. exceptin' alice.

can anyone explain the origins of listening to arlo guthrie's "alice's restaurant" on thanksgiving?

i mean, i do it, i'm listening to it now. the first time i heard it was at erin p.'s house after watching... the wall maybe? that was the first time i ever held cris' hand. but that's neither here nor there.

you say it's your birthday?

happy 6th birthday to the only thing to which i have ever successfully committed. there have been times i've wanted to send you to play in traffic, but it turns out i do sorta dig you after all.

happy birthday, ernie!

my life is brilliant

• i have an amazing fmaily
• i have amazing friends
• i have survived this quarter
• i have given to others
• i have friends who have given to me
• i have a home in which to live
• i have enough to eat
• i have love
• i have knitting
• i have the strongest support system ever
• i have a puppydog
• i have found amazing people on the internets
• i have sexy boots
• i have 2 guitars, a keyboard, a bodhran, a saxophone
• i have the ability to play some of those
• i have always got the exact right song to play at the exact right time
• i have my life

happy thanksgiving y'all.

songs i can't stop listening to

• "you're beautiful" by james blunt
• "rocket man" by elton john
• "jane says" by jane's addiction
• "what i like about you" by the romantics
• "she says" by howie day
• "on love, in sadness" by jason mraz
• "home is" by kid sister
• "toxicity" by system of a down (this is the wildcard)
• "older chests" by damien rice
• "kite song" by patty griffin

and the award for most articulate goes to...

...jay are!

the award is for the following comment: "My mom knits and she's making the most awesome-looking something."

:) that made me giggle, but you get mad props for trying to speak the greek!

in strange cross-breeding news...

... am i allowed to marry the provisional cast-on?

because I LOVE IT and it leads to seamlessness and it's so much faster than any other version of casting on i have tried yet....

WIP shot:

those are the susan bates SILVERADOS... i love me some addi turbos, but these were $10 cheaper and i'm a teeny bit poor.

and i've tried blow dryers, i've tried boiling water, i've never been able to get the kinks out of my superlong circulars (these are 32", i prefer 40" or 47" but 32" is fine. i just always have a WIP on #7s, so buying more seems infinitely more sensible than waiting until i'm done with the pinwheel which is like ripping my lungs out with sharp dental implements).

yarn drunk

i love love love the wool/cotton blend i bought yesterday. it's floofy, it's soft, it has some of the elasticity and loft of wool, but doesn't overstretch because of the cotton. woo!

that said, i knitted like 4 inches of the conservative protuberances hat, then frogged it because on #10s, it's just a smidge too loose, and the cable pattern doesn't show well. so i'm going to try it on #9s.

i'm also going to learn the provisional cast-on for bella. well, i know how to do it in my brain, but i'm going to do it in real life today. the pattern calls for #7s to hit gauge. i always knit looser than gauge since i learned not to "yank the bitch" so tightly as i said when i was teaching mariamamama how to knit (woo! knitting: not just for grannies!). so i'm bringing my #5s if i come out way too big. it'd be groovy if i brought my #6s, but i only have those in straight, crappy aluminum needles.... i could conceivably do it on straight needles, but i lurrrrrve circs.

also, what's up with susan bates making circular needles that are almost exactly like addi turbos? not that i have a problem with that because they're $6 instead of $15, but whoa... however, i've only seen them in about 3 sizes in any given store.

for those of you who think this is like reading greek, i say: oh well. you gotta take the heather who's high on yarn with the heather who's loopy with the heather who's stressy with the heather who's punchy with the heather who's sad with the heather who's off the wall with the heather who's thoughtful. and just pray it's not all at the same time.

potpourri, yo

the front range of the rockies is GORGEOUS today... i was driving crazy mara to the airport, and hoo boy! what a beautiful day... and it's 60 degrees! in november! thanksgiving week!

tonight is end-of-term calimocho night at cate's house. i swore i'd never again drink calimochos after a fateful evening in spain, but i believe the trick is to not drink 14, and maybe stick with one or 2. i also have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow.

i got an a- on my last paper in intelligence and national security!

did i mention it's a gorgeous day?

i bought stuff for knitting today! also, lisa - i have NEVER successfully laid my hands on a 50% off code for jo-ann during its valid period... WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?! :)

here's the dove grey wool ease i bought for bella (it probably has another name but it's in another room and, well, i'm consumed by sloth for looking at yarn names) surprisingly, with the multicolored floor lamp, the main light and the flash, the color's pretty true on my monitor:

and i decided against re-knitting the cable hat with horn hints (i call them conservative protuberances) with leftover mariah yarn because i'm frankly tired of working with it. so i bought a wool-cotton blend in a bulky weight. i was unable to capture the color appropriately, so you don't really get to know that it's... hmmm... i'm going to describe it as a baby lime yogurty sorta color. my description of the hat will make more sense with a photo of the FO, sorry. (ditto about yarn info sloth story):

technology is still kicking my ass

my phone service is non-existent. not in the "you are between towers" way, but in the way that i can't place outgoing calls, send text messages (i'm assuming i can't receive these either). and yes, smarty mcsmartass, i did pay my bill.

so if i'm s'posed to call, then sorry about that.

if you need me, email me!

update: stupid thing started working again. although i have been provided with great methods for attracting hunky firefighters and ornithologists in the comments.

i had something else entirely to post about

but i went to haiku-girl's site and saw she had a new post up.

and once again, i'm rendered speechless and have the tears in the eyes. she has this little knife that she uses to slice into your skin and pulls out all the secrets you try to hide in your epidermis so that people see them but never think about them. the cuts don't hurt but you feel oddly naked and exposed with all your secrets on top of your skin instead of just beneath the surface presented in relief for everyone to see. the ones that are hiding in plain sight but are just really in plain sight.

i've said it before, i'll say it again. YOU SHOULD READ HER WRITING.

(i also forgot how exhausting the punchies are. probably finals too. so my brain is holding out for some r&r before it can get back to spewing the pure surrealism that is the status quo. thanks for your patience)

why am i up at this hour? i dunno.

but i am. i had been in bed. and almost asleep. i had 2 phone calls, and wanted to check for an email response, so i got up. and now i'm surprised that i still know how to type because i'se worn out, yo.

i had a hard day playing with a cute baby, knitting, watching gilmore girls and alias, having bar food and beer for dinner, and watching harry potter 4. in my defense, i've been up since 5:30 this morning, so it's just been a loooooooooooong day.

thus concludes the second most boring blog post ever (narrowly edged out by the liveblogging version of the Dutch Boy International Watching Paint Dry competition).

it is lovely...

...know that at least one boy in the world would like to kiss you.

(and to not be totally creeped out by it)

i've been running uphill, panting, punching at the air

this morning i woke up feeling... nothing. not stress, fatigue, frustration, sadness.

that's not entirely true, i suppose, i woke up feeling awake and as if i could conquer the world. i got contacts in my eyes before 6 am.

i love winter break.

winter break, day 1: the plan

1. sit on the baby
2. knit the pinwheel blankie
3. nap
4. talk on the phone
5. knit 3 hats
6. maybe it's 2 hats, counting isn't working for me so much
7. make the baby giggle by singing to her
8. browse the knitpicks catalog for the right yarn with which to make bella
9. watch 2 episodes of gilmore girls
10. eat lunch
11. nap
12. knit
13. see harry potter with crazy mara

ladies and gentlemen, i am on winter vacation

my work countdown starting from 10 days ago

• short intelligence paper #2 (6 pages)
• short intelligence paper #3 (6 pages)
• political theory paper (15 pages)
• intelligence/natl. security final (6 pages)
• major issues in security paper (15 pages)
• 9 hour political theory final (10 pages, sunday)
• healthcare and global terrorism final paper (5 pages, due by thursday)

again, please check the meltdown status in the upper right hand corner of your screen!

i have emailed my last final paper as of 45 seconds ago and am prepared to sleep the sleep of the weary and righteous.

um, dude?

so, sitemeter's not picking up all my hits or for the correct amount of time.

i paid no money for this statcounter, and i deserve better than this.

oh, wait.

sorta in the zone

here's the story about the 9 hour final - answer two questions of 9 within 9 hours totaling 10-12 pages.

i've answered one in 2 hours - clocking in at 4 pages. may refinish it later because it's a teeny bit short, but i've known people who did two 4 page responses and did fine. i don't even care about doing fine, i just want to pass the class so i never have to think of this again.

i have chosen the second question, and feel relatively good about being able to answer it.

i'm taking a cognitive break here at the starbucks (okay, i'm doing the paper at the starbucks because i don't usually get internet connections here to distract me because of the whole t-mobile hot spot costing money - thpbllllll to that, by the way) updating the blogorino, moisturizing my hands (colorado's really dry, and it's hard to get a decent cup of coffee here thanks to the altitude) and playing some spider solitaire. i have until 8:45 tonight to finish this exam. with the help of the good lord and a stick (don't ask), i will be home by 5 tonight.

so i'm listening to my "in the zone" songs because they make me energetic and i type insanely fast and accurately when listening to them. i listen to these three on repeat. they're just SO cheesy that it makes me embarassed to tell you what they are. but i loves youse guys so here they are:

• "eye of the tiger" - survivor
• "sabotage" - beastie boys
• "come on eileen" dexy's midnight runners

i'm taking 5 more minutes of break.

songs i can't stop listening to...

short list tonight - have to finish a paper

• "delicate" by damien rice
• "mmmbop" by hanson
• requiem by w.a. mozart
• "soul to squeeze" by red hot chili peppers
• "xfrench t-shirt" by shudder to think
• "the blower's daughter" by damien rice
• "angel band" by paul stanley
• "slumber my darling" by edgar meyer, yo-yo ma, and mark o'connor, f/allison krauss
• "where you'll find me now" by neutral milk hotel

there's a story behind this but i can't be bothered.

update: erik put his version of events in the comments. it's close enough for jazz.

help and safeguard my means this night

no.

stop it.

i don't want to be THAT GIRL.

well, crap. look at that. i'm that girl. the girl who starts crying in class. to make it worse, to the rest of the class it looks like i'm the girl who starts crying in class looking at pictures of the tsunami. at least the lights are off... the projector's not casting light on my face is it? shit, dave saw me crying for sure.

yeah, i was that girl today. but it wasn't the human suffering and loss of life, property, and livelihood. it was that picture. not a video of people being dashed and broken and killed into concrete pillars by racing rivers of debris. it was that picture. the picture of the woman with her head on her loved one's chest.

the picture that looked just like my sister putting her head on my dad's chest after we turned off the ventilator, saying, "bye daddy" while i held his hand that wasn't covered in tape or pulse oximeters. then it looked like me when i laid my head on his chest and said "i love you my little daddy." i brushed my hand across his cheek, still so warm, still so soft. i put my hand on his heart and felt it trying to beat to rush that oxygen-filled blood to his body. but there wasn't any oxygen. he just wasn't breathing anymore. his brain didn't know how to tell him to breathe. he had been in a coma for a day and a half by then. but something happened between saturday and sunday. between the time i left saturday night and came back sunday morning it was so abundantly clear he was gone. he didn't look any different. but i could tell he could hear i had finally made it in to town on saturday. but sunday, he was gone.

my mom had already talked to the doctor around 4 am sunday, and knew that he wouldn't come back - recovery wasn't a possibility at all anymore. so i picked her up at the hospital, and took her home. my mom, sister, and i each showered, put on our nicest clothes, and wore that scent that we all wear.

would be be dressed too gaily when we went to meet with the doctor to discuss our options? my sister said it best, "the person i'm dressing up for won't be able to see me anyway. it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." when we got to the hospital the doctor was waiting for us. our options were simple - disconnect the ventilator, or keep him on it indefinitely. the second option wasn't really an option, the three of us knew that we'd have to take him off the ventilator today or tomorrow, or wait for his heart to stop beating on its own. that wouldn't be too much longer, anyway. i think that of all our family who was there, the three of us were the ones who knew that he was going to die. i knew it when i got the call saying he was hemorrhaging in his brain, i knew it on the plane to vegas, the plane to california, on the ride to the hospital. i knew it when i walked into his hospital room.

so we waited for all my aunts and uncles to arrive and disconnected the ventilator.

my sister and i touching his face and his hands, my mom keeping her hand on his heart until she couldn't feel it's weakening efforts.

we signed some paperwork and went home.

what else are you going to do from that point.

if pressed, i could have told you this whole story. but i hadn't thought of it, of the way my mom looked with such strength, such faith, such sorrow painted across her face. of the way i couldn't look anyone in the eye for a week.

but i chose not to. i chose to think about things in the abstract. telling random people "my dad died this weekend" as if i were trying out the words to see if i could live with how they sounded. but not hearing it. not understanding.

i've had glimpses of understanding the sorrow. when they pronounced his death. when we picked the picture of the three of us - his houseful of women - to bury with him. at the church when i first saw the casket. when they lowered it into the ground.

but i haven't been able to see it. tonight i can see the full picture. will i be able to see it tomorrow? in ten minutes? i don't know.

and all this came flooding back in alarming clarity, with alarming pain, because someone snapped a picture in aceh in december.

Something's been eating the houseplants. Me.

Lest we forget.

gee, that feels different!

my insanity levels (as evidenced in the meltdown status in the upper right hand corner of your screen) have decreased by 11!

because i finished the stupid political theory paper that was akin to shaving off my skin with a rusty machete and taking a bath in rubbing alcohol.

okay this is what is left to do:

turn paper in
go to last class of the quarter
sushi with yaymee tonight
intelligence and national security final (6 pp)
major issues in security final paper (12-15 pp)
political theory final (the 9-hour beast; 10-12 pp)
healthcare and global terrorism final paper (5 pp)

the nice thing is that the major issues paper is already written. in my head (and a little bit on my hard drive. okay it's 85% done, i have to make sure it makes sense for this context. not that i'm using something i've written for another purpose - job-related, not for another class) and the 5 pp paper is "more of an exercise for you [the student] than for me [the professor]."

and sushi with yaymee is not a chore at all on accounts that it's sushi. with yaymee. i love today. but i need a nap before i go to school.

peace out, yo.

more gnome news!

so, the gnomes gave back BOTH pairs of glasses i was looking for last night. thanks gnomes!

now, i need to figure out what happened to the elusive housecleaning gnomes.

(on deck for winter break: knitting, donating of clothes i don't wear, and a mad cleaning spree the likes of which haven't been seen since my mom came to visit)

i like my coffee like i like my women...

...strong, black and with a spoon in it.*

i made me some coffee bean coffee in my french press this morning because i'm at home, finishing the paper (she says boldly even though it's not quite at the 50% mark) that is due at 5, but realistically at 2 since i have class from 2-5 and won't be able to work on it then.

but i wanted to share my coffee preferences because i'm procrastinating. i like insanely strong coffee (as in it doesn't pour well, but does better being scooped with a slotted spoon into the cup) with a lot of cream, no sugar.

i have a french press because the dog is terrified of percolators, and it wasn't worth the stress it put either of us under to have him freak out crying, barking, snarling at the coffee maker at 5:30 am so i could have coffee. it's also nice because you never have to worry about running out of filters and contemplate between a coffee slurry and 1 degree temperatures.

*name that reference without looking it up

sometimes i make myself nauseous with my logophilia

i have used the following words in my paper:

conundrum
MINIMAX
neorealism
hierarchical
efficacy
extant
perpetuity
inspectorate
governance
extrapolate
exacerbate
supplant
ineffectual
bacteriological

i did not use them in one sentence. i will give a shiny gold star to a person who uses all those words in a single sentence that makes sense. i will give two shiny gold stars to anyone who can guess my paper topic. (anyone to whom i've already told my paper topic is disqualified from the second game)

i love semaphoria

when i was freaking out (again) last night about school and crying from PMS, semaphoria suggested that i snack on warm browniesnack with whipped cream.

i love you, fredhead. it was perfect. actually it's still perfect - i've only finished about half of it because it's making me slightly nauseous with sweetness (sorta like interacting with me...aw....) but it is precisely what i needed.

knock it off, gnomes!

i'm thinking that there are gnomes who live in my tiny house with me who like to mess with my head.

for instance, tonight i took my contacts out to wear glasses for writing my paper (i'm liable to be up really late and glasses are easier on my eyes for extensive computering). not only did i repeat to myself what i repeat every night when i take out my contacts ("find glasses BEFORE taking out contacts tomorrow"), having forgotten to do just that, but i can't find my fun, red glasses with the closest-to-current prescription (all of my glasses are out of date). i think the gnomes hid them.

nor can i find my cute, brown cats-eye glasses with the second most current prescription. i think the gnomes hid them, too.

"why would the gnomes do this?" i hear you querying.

because all i can find are my birth control glasses with the really strong astigmatism prescription (i don't know how my astigmatism got better and went away, but i'm just glad it did). so i'm ugly and have a headache.

i'd better get back offline before anyone notices that i'm online when i'm not supposed to be.

why did i do this now?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.2
Mind:	7
Body:	5.2
Spirit:	5.8
Friends/Family:	3.8
Love:	2.9
Finance:	5.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

notice how high i scored on love.

and my total score: 6.2 that is a D-, people. the freakin' internet gave me a D- on my life. at least i got a C- on my mind.

thanks jay are and bryan. (neither of them have anything to do with the current status of my love score. just clearing that up.)

*i have some issues with the lowness of my friends/family score - i have AMAZING friends and family.

you're the boy with the filthy laugh...

see, this title has nothing to do with nothing. i just like the song it comes from.

if you're one of those people who "needs context" then, i'm talking about you, with your filthy perv laugh.

see? that's why i didn't want the title to have anything to do with this post.

sadly, i didn't really have a point. i'm going insane in style, i'm breaking out like a madwoman, i have 9 pages of the evil paper left to write, i'm super PMSy, my dog keeps eating paint chips from the old wall so i worry about him getting lead poisoning a week before his birthday, i'm really having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (ooh! dark end of the tunnel - has "flesh and blood" on it - good song!), and i love you all, but i don't have the patience to read your "it'll be okay support."

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

for those of you who think i complain too much, that's why you go to school - to have a reason to complain. and thpbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll at you.

one month

it has been one month since my dad died.

has it only been a month?

has it really been a month?

oh yeah, knitting

so, some of you have me on your bloglines as a "knitter" with a "knitting blog" because i've been know to post "knitting related material."

how's that working out for you?

i'm hoping that by next week i'll have ordered some worsted merino from knitpicks, to start on a bella paquita. for those of you who have accessed the pattern (it's linked below, i can't be bothered right now) and can't open the lace pattern PDF, if you email marnie she'll email it right back to you quick as a bunny and is just the sweetest thing who gets excited when people do her patterns!

my gauge expands over a project, so i'm thinking of seeing if i hit gauge on #7s, but doing it on #6s. or i could take the time to do a BIG SWATCH to see what really happens and not be such a lazy swatcher. this is a fitted sweatertopthingy, so i'd like it to actually fit me properly (unlike the mariah and hot lava incidents).

hopefully i'll update this properly with links soon!

in other news, pinwheel's plugging away, and i have to finish it to free up my 40" #7 addis. or i could buy more #7 addis (maybe in a 47") because most of the projects i want to do are on #7 needles. however i still have about 3526 miles of yarn on the pinwheel and haven't made much discernable progress. but it's hard to judge that anyway because it's all bunched up on the needles. so who knows, it could be as big as texas at the moment.

also in the chute, i need to frog and reknit my cable hat with my leftover mariah yarn. speaking of which...

i think i'm going to frog and reknit mariah so that it fits me properly and doesn't have sleeves that are as long as my legs. for those of you who've never tried it, cabling without a cable needle is SO much faster. there are less opportunities for gratuitous cleavage shots (it's in the archives and on gnit - look of of cable needles and cleavage) but i appear to be posting rack shots anyway.

meltdown status: the score

insanity - 5

heather - 2

so i'm giving "insanity" 2 extra points for making me cry a propos of NOTHING while on the phone last night. 1 point for serious procrastination via email and IM until far too late, topped off by a late night phone call.

i'm giving me 1 for coming up with a paper topic for the paper due friday in a subject i do not understand, 1 point for being charming (if not slightly off my rocker) in said emails, IMs, and phone call.

(the other 2 points for insanity are for the punchies and for having IM conversations with yaymee yesterday afternoon although we were sitting not 12 inches from each other.)

it's a sign...

do you believe in signs?

like, say you were emailing someone back and forth instead of writing your paper and poof! your email server won't let you access your inbox anymore.

is that a sign that you should stop emailing and work on your freakin' paper already?

update: it's working again, it wasn't a sign. procrastinators, onward!

update 2: sorry, i misspoke: it wasn't a sign that i should stop procrastinating. whew!

open letter

dear couple in the white subaru outback on university blvd. at 6:30 pm,

hi! i don't know you but i noticed a few things today, and thought you'd like to know them. helpful tips and all. anyhoo, when someone's leaving a driveway and university's packed, it's not REQUIRED, but generally considered nice to let someone in a driveway turn in front of you. i mean, there's a red light at exposition, and you aren't really slowing down any by doing that. besides, at that time of day people are generally making right turns and not foolish enough to attempt a left across 4 lanes of traffic blocking everyone else on the road. however, it's not required, so blocking the driveway is both legal and your right. and i wanted to thank you for eventually scooting up so that i fit behind you since the next car waved me through. that was nice - at a green light at that hour you can sit there for months! what was also nice was the fact i could see that the two of you had your ginormous dog sitting on the console between the front seats and were taking turns making him (or her - i couldn't really tell because it was dark, and stuff) kiss you on the mouths with his tongue. it was sweet. first the dog would kiss the driver, then the passenger, then you'd both kiss the dog, then kiss each other. i got to watch this touching love fest between people and dog for a good 3 minutes. it's nice to know all the love's not gone from the world. and i wouldn't really worry about the need to see out of your rearview mirror, anyway.

well, that's all from me - maybe i'll see you again sometime!

enjoy your evening,
heatherfeather

nerd alert

i just got really excited becaues i found out i can join the arms control association for $30 since i'm a student.

yet more proof i'm not really a grown-up

i appear to be doing features lately. chalk it up to brain death due to finals. no complaining either, i'm not MAKING you come here! no, wait! come back...

anyhow, following up to this post from march, i couldn't stop giggling when i said i wanted a ball winder on jay are's blog.

dear chris,

even though i left this in the comments section of your welsh blog, would you please be so kind as to translate for us non-cymraeg speakers the contents of the post wherein you link to my blog? because it's bad for my ego to see my name, a hyperlink, the welsh word for english, and the word "beautiful" all in the same paragraph without knowing whether it's complimentary.

thank you in advance,
heatherfeather

(and i'm really jealous you actually speak welsh - it's in the top 5 languages i want to know)

found it.

i found my finishing finals present to myself, that is:

marnie maclean's bella paquita.

now i need to stop trawling the internets for knitting patterns and go to school to write the paper i don't understand.

things that will always make me think of my dad, part 2

forgetting to eat dinner.

tonight i forgot to eat dinner. i've been doing this for the past month or so - also forgetting breakfast and lunch, hence my actually liking my ass in my new jeans - but i don't advocate that as a way to make friends with your ass.

anyhow, when i moved out of my parents' house at 18 for college (excepting one or two summers back with them) and every few weeks my dad would miss me too much for words.

so, every few weeks for the past 10 years he called me to make sure i had remembered to eat dinner. which seemed ridiculous to me as i hadn't starved to death yet and my body has an internal mechanism called "growly tummy" which does the same thing.

but since he died, i've not done well remembering to eat.

it's either because i miss him, or i'm still really sad.

when nobody comes to trample my meadow...

i just had a class that made me hate.

hate what? well, everything. but more specifically postmodernism.

and then i came out and there was snow everywhere. which could have gone either way with me:

option a: YAY! snow! it's so pretty and quiet because of all the extra surface area. the dog will gambole in the yard, and i'll sit inside and make some tea and knit when i get home!

option b: F*@K IT'S SNOWING.

i have to say, it went more with option b. but then i got home and my computer decided to play the song captioned in the title which i haven't heard in a million years, so now i'm feeling more like option b.

(random: friendster's weird. turns out boys you thought were really cute when you were twelve are HOTT at 28)

shhhhh...

i think she's sleeping...

or having a nervous breakdown.

the twitch in her eye is back.

as is the migraine.

she's also getting stye on her eye.

it is clear

...to me that i will not get ANY work done at home where i have a computer with internet, a stereo, a tv, a vcr, a dvd player, a dog, and a 12 pack of diet coke and various cheeses.

i gotta find me a neutral location.

update: it's 3:41 pm, i'm still at home, i've read 2 pages. CRAPMONKEYS.

i'm quite particular about advertising on my chest

but this is one of the only items of clothing i own and wear that has not only a particular company on it, but any sort of pattern at all.

and it's from ninja, my favorite restaurant and sushi bar on earth. it's in uptown new orleans. it was 3 blocks from jake's house, 6 blocks from mine.

post-katrina i have no idea of its status. heck, it moved from jeannette street to oak street since the last time i was there in 2000.

it's stained, it's misshapen, it's 7 years old, it makes me giggle without fail.

and i'm wearing it today.

update: while i appreciate the positive feedback i have received on my, er, features, they're not the focus of the post. it's the SHIRT. :)

when the crazies get the punchies

last night i was at yaymee's place, where we were "studying."

i arrived at 3 pm and left around 11:45 pm. in that time i read 14 pages and did a 2 page synopsis of what i had just read. this is an overview of what happened in the meantime.

• watched yaymee make oatmeal raisin cookies and ate 2 when they were done. they were quite good
• sang aloud
• snacked on raisins (the inspiration for cookies)
• went out to dinner
• danced a little to moby
• bought gas for the granny plow
• cried
• wore a marmot jacket
• tried to hook up my laptop to her wireless
• talked to cherz in oregon for tech support
• read that the snack box of raisins had Fun Snack Ideas

this is approximate dialogue following my excitement that there were Fun Snack Ideas on the raisin box.

heatherfeather: yaymee, there are Fun Snack Ideas on the raisin box! what are they?!
yaymee: RAISINUFOS!
hf: raisin yo' foes?
y: did i say that?
hf: i have no idea what you said.

later, still as part of the same conversation

y: you're a banana problem, aren't you?
hf: shut up, your mom's a banana problem

same conversation, even later still

y: i don't want the raisins to do the chewing for me

quick, hide your parking meters!

i admitted to someone yesterday that i will flirt with anything that stands still long enough. even a parking meter.

however, i wanted to throw it out there that if you have ever been the target of my flirting, be confident that i find you far more attractive and interesting than parking meters.

things that will always make me think of my dad, part 1

when i was little i HATED corduroy. in fact when i was about 2, i told my mom, "i just don't think i look good in it." i do remember saying it and HATING corduroy. i thought perhaps this argument my mother would find irrefutable. when i was about 15 i bought a pair of corduroy pants for the first time in, oh, 13 years or so. and i put them on and my dad got really excited.

he was glad that i liked corduroy finally because he loved it. when he was little his family had NO money, so when they were able to afford to buy him a pair of corduroy pants, he was so excited to have something that nice to wear. he always felt so dressed up when he heard the fabled "zzzzzzzip zzzzzzzzzip zzzzzzzzip" sounds it made when he walked.

today, i'm wearing a pair of zzzzzzzipping corduroy, and it makes me so happy.

procrastination method #416

dye your hair to it's mostly natural color:

i'm about to quote the chickiest chick movie, but get off my back - i'm a chick.

"it's a subtle difference."*

however, it's vastly different from the last time i dyed my hair:

i still live in the tiny house.

(james the chick will be excited to know i remembered to get dressed before taking and posting pictures. for all the good it did in these pictures)

* you're going to make me admit that i can pull obscure lines from this movie, aren't you?

i get a little freaked out...

...when i have an individual pack of teddy grahams and get to the bottom and find all the little remant crumbs are made of teddy bear legs and ears.

do i get dental with that?

so, my newest job is erik's thug.

he didn't quite put it like that (his words were "you have to defend me!" and, having at one point compiled a list of things that erik's requested of me to which i have agreed, my track record implying that do things that he puts in the imperative toward me, i assented. however, i told him i'm tired so my thugdom might be a bit surreal when i'm tired. because i'm tahred, y'all. but be careful what you ask for. heather as thug has its up and down sides. up? she's feisty. down? she's slightly bizarre. this parenthetical note has gone on far too long by this point. so i terminate it here.)

while i'm allergic to horses (yes, just put it on my list), and therefore wouldn't make a great knight on a white horse, i can kick your posterior at trivial pursuit and jeopardy.

i'll also need a 401(k), erik and an allowance for thugtools.

and for the record, i only ever mispronounce words when exceptionally tired. like now. and even then, i just speak with a southern accent. you draw your own inferences. :)

things i suspect are made of crack, part ii

• pepperidge farm chocolate mint pirouette cookies
• "the sweetest decline" by beth orton (songs can be made of crack, right?)
• lemon cake with lemon icing
• warm milk with honey
• amazing grace by philosophy (for the nose - do not eat. when people borrow my lotion they say "hey, this smells like you!" i'm so grateful for that. because i'd hate for them to smell some limberger cheese and say that.)
• tomatillo salsa
• rancho de chimayo's green chile stew
• shed bread
• unagi
• edamame and diet coke (in a bowl, in a can, respectively)
• strawberry ice cream

you are pure desire, like a candy bar at a fat camp

these are things that i would like to wear from anthropologie. donations always accepted grafetully.

the send-off skirt

olive yin yang skirt

moonlight tea gown

camel meet press a-line skirt

blue chalet dress (especially this one)

astronomy dress

thank you.

ask the internets*

internets, i need your help.

which boots should i wear with my new skirt?

the calf boots with the high heels, also worn to the keller wedding extravaganza?


or the knee boots with the kitten heel?


i think i know which ones i like, but can't be sure because decision making is hard today. so i'll evaluate your votes, and likely do whatever i feel like, because i'm all about perpetuating the stereotypes about women.

update: i'm going to school then going home. i just want to wear my new skirt. both are equally comfy - i can wear heels without much issue as long as i'm not standing for 7 hours straight.

update 2: i had 1 comment and 3 emails/IMs. and i went with the calf boots instead of the knee boots, because that was what i was leaning toward and i had to leave for school. what's up with the lack of slackers at work today?

*thanks to semaphoria for the category title

armistice

it's armistice day. 87 years ago at 11:11 the first world war ended.

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori... wilfred owen, your thoughts on that statement?

i think it's safe to say we've come so far in the last 87 years. what concerns me is the direction we've come.

sigh

you ever have the feeling that if you have even one more feeling you'd explode?

right now, i feel: sad, excited, stressed, depressed, hopeful, enamored, frustrated, inadequate, superconfident, lonely, and tired.

update 11:31 pm - sad wins. so, so sad. especially interesting next to the first post of the day.

poll

whoever thinks mariama should start a blog, please raise your hand.

anything over one is a binding consensus, little m kittenhead...

[heatherfeather raises hand]

songs i can't stop listening to...

...or, i woke up in a fabulous mood today which is surprising because i couldn't sleep last night for all the coughing, but i'm not going to ask questions, i'm just going to be a happy kid.

• "i saw a bird fly away" by dar williams
• "on love, in sadness" by jason mraz
• "the boy with the arab strap" by belle and sebastian
• "underdog (save me)" by turin brakes
• "don't let's start" by they might be giants
• "sexual healing" by ben harper and the innocent criminals
• "steal my kisses" by ben harper and the innocent criminals
• "dirty dream #2" by belle and sebastian
• "breaking the girl" by red hot chili peppers
• "action/adventure" by andrew bird
• "song against sex" by neutral milk hotel
• "i won't dance" by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong
• "doves cry" by prince
• "southern girl" by christine kane

paper is done

should i edit it? probably.

should i reread it to see if it makes sense? most definitely.

will i? probably not.

okay, i just have a 15 pager, a 12 pager, a 7 pager and the hellhound of a final until the drinking begins.

okay, kids.

two more hits until i have my 5,000th hit on this blog. well, since i started counting less than 3-4 months ago, anyway.

so it's an artificial landmark. but it got me procrastinating!

update - i got a mystery of a 5000th hit:

Adelphia Cable Communications
Location: West Virginia
City : Huntington

Operating System : Microsoft WinXP
Browser: Internet Explorer 6.0

Visit Length : 0 seconds

Referring URL: unknown
Visit Number: 5,000

steve, you are kickin'. you can jump on the list of my favorite people.

um, i'm silly

because i read jay are's post captioned three posts below this one at like 4 am, i didn't even notice the sentence that leonard cohen's last album was called dear heather which makes me feel happy...

"dear heather
please walk by me again
with a drink in your hand
and your legs all white
from the winter"

because until this point the only 2 songs i knew with 'heather' in the title were "heather on the hill" from brigadoon and "bull in the heather" by sonic youth.

however, the sound clip of that song on the leonard cohen site reminds me of creepiness... but i like the line quoted above out of context like that. my legs don't ever get WHITE, but they get light brown. don't hate me because i have good melanin.

i should be finishing my paper at this moment.

i only have 3 more pages to write, and i basically know what i will say.

i've been informed that i am not allowed to talk on the phone until i'm finished with this paper.

but no strictures have been placed on me cruising on the internets and finding more inexplicable pictures of moocow than may be strictly necessary.

and i am not allowed to have a beer until i finish the paper, either. because i'm a cheap date and the paper would look like this after 1/2 a beer:

swavv ;pok'gwagnmlsdvclksdm govewavgfdsfvgihjregijdlk;ea evkdskldkfs.enjoweftmjwkgfl efjowjgkmvk;ds,f

now playing on party shuffle: "reunion" by indigo girls.

updates across the board

school: [weeps softly and rocks back and forth] after the 20th of november i will be very drunk indeed.

dog: spaz who woke me up at 3:45 this morning. then i fell asleep again at 5:20. 16 minutes before my alarm went off.

sleep: clearly, not going so well.

knitting: plugging away on pinwheel blankie. have had a request for a snowboarding beanie... that may have to wait until i've sobered up after the 20th, and will be granted in exchange for said wearer coming do colorado to snowboard at copper or a-basin in december sometime. had half-hearted request for baby hat for someone else's neice but will need to discuss with neice's uncle more specifics. have 3 shawl patterns to make for gifts and no yarn with which to make them. two of them i want to make of kidsilk haze, 1 i want to make with knitpicks merino lace yarn. really want to frog and re-knit mariah smaller, with some slight mods to the sleeves and an extra decrease in the hood. also want to knit something for A, the baby upon whom i sit.

A: totally cute, still sick, sleeping now.

me: totally cute, still sick, sleeping in like 3 minutes.

jay are has done a Very Good Thing

she wrote a post that talked about me a lot and how cool i am. well, that wasn't really the thrust of her post, but i'm a megalomaniac, so that's how i interpreted it.

cherz also mentioned me yesterday in his blog.

these are my Two Favorite People.

i am the queen of the bargain shopping

today, i purchased:

• 2 pairs of business casual pants
• 1 corduroy skirt
• 1 pair of corduroy pants
• 1 pair of jeans (they're not perfect, but for once i'm entirely happy with how my ass looks in them)
• 1 cardigan
• 1 crewneck sweater

for $80.

ahhh...

haiku-girl updated her blog.

how does she do that to me every time?

hooray!

charlie and the chocolate factory out on DVD today!

i would love to have that movie. (ahem)

derrrrr-choo

i'm still sneezy and coughy. i'm going to buy some cold medicine today.

not really in the mood to be terribly coherent.

go see cherz' new random stuff video. i played a small role in bringing together the pieces, but he gets all the credit for actually pulling it off (read: i don't know how to do flash). if it makes you laugh half as hard as it makes me, you're likely insane.

so, some people on other blogs aren't understanding the whole "fun with word verification" game. here are the rules: there aren't really rules. you can show us proudly your word you had to type because you like it, it's inadvertently dirty, it reminds you of something silly. you can use it in a sentence like it's a real word. you can use it as a swear word. you can not play it at all.

i'm off to get some dayquil.

fashion tip #2

well after the last fashion tip, wherein moocow demonstrated his fashionableness, particleman demonstrated his shunning of mom-purchased clothes, fritzie complained that there weren't enough suits with flat front trousers, cherz talked about...well, go see for yourself, (and we all giggled) ivar called p-man a geek, p-man kissed forkie's patootie, and erik proclaimed himself the king of fashion (golly, that was a busy post!)- it's time for a tip for the ladies

NO GAUCHO PANTS.

they're ugly as sin.

(thanks for reminding me just how much i hate them so i could have this post, si!)

update: since not everyone knows what the gaucho pants are, there's a picture here. there were many choices i had for examples, but i found myself getting distracted (and wracked by self-loathing) by the fleeting shots of pretty girlbellies so i went with the dowdiest ones i could find.

cough, cough, sniffle.

i'm siiiiiiiiiick...

or as my dad used to say in his silly accent made sillier by whining, "honey, i don' feel goooooood."

the baby upon whom i sit made me sick. nothing terminal, just a really annoying cold that is making me sneeze WAY more than normal and making me wish i had purchased stock in kimberly-clark. while i get the migraines and have the bad allergies, i usually don't catch bugs (maybe a cold every 3-4 years... however i had a nasty bout of bronchitis summer of last year).

there's a chance that my immune system is somewhat weakened by stress lately.

since it's bad form to blame a somewhat medically fragile baby for making me sick, i decided yesterday that it's erik's fault. even though he's in california, he warned me against drinking to excess on saturday night - which i heeded. however, he did NOT warn me about having a good, healthy immune system last week.

so it's totally his fault. and i told him so, too.

in other news, this is funny.

in other, other news, i have 39 pages of papers left to write and one nine (9!!) hour final until i can be finished with this quarter forever.

product reviews

old navy's boy-cut jeans

we're almost there! i have a really weirdly shaped body. however, i'll bet that 94% of women polled say the same thing about their own body. i have wide, child-birthin' ready hips, that very very gradually go in to a really high waist, that is about 4 inches above my navel, 2 inches below my bustline. so i can't wear pants with high waists, because the waists nip in a good 3" before my own waist nips in, forcing me to wear pants that are otherwise too big. so i usually wear the ultra-low rise jeans (which make me look truly klassy by showing my underwear) or the low-rise jeans (which are better, but still show some skivvies). but these jeans, since they are boy cut, have a mercifully straight cut through the waist band, so i can actually wear them in my size, and they don't squeeze unbecomingly or try to make me into a shape that i'm just not.

the downside? well, they make me look, unsurprisingly, really rectangular. however, i also tried on the cuffed leg model, which never looks good on me so i'll go back and try them on in the non-cuffed model. also on my list of things to try are:

gap straight fit jeans

next up? bic soleil disposable razors

ow, ow, ow. i've been working my way through a pack of these for months and months. if your goal is to find a way to attract sharks in the ocean, please shave with these and jump into the sea. don't worry about the stinging in the millions of infinite and infinitessimal cuts, as the scent of your blood will bring sharks in even the non-sharkiest area to put you out of your misery in seconds flat.

oh summer, where have you gone?

because if it were summer i'd totally make this recipe i didn't see until yesterday...

corn on the cob with parmesan cheese on everyday italian...

R.I.P.

thomas' blog (which got WAY more traffic than mine does), if you write it, they will laugh (goodmorninghouston.blogspot) is no more...

thomas, thanks for the newsiness and the laughs. they were fun while they lasted (and sadly, for some weeks my only source of news on intelligent design, social conservatism, and tom delay)

i hope this doesn't mean the terrorists have won. however if it means you're spending more time on other stuff, then there's no way they have.

i love yaymee!

i am at home on a borrowed computer which, while purported to be slow not only works MUCH faster and better than my currently dead computer, but it also works much faster and slower than my computer before its untimely and annoying demise!

yaymee!

wanna be a nerd like me?

then go take this 10 question cryptology test on the navy jobs website!

songs i can't get out of my head

it looks like it might be a new feature updated whenever the heck i feel like it.

• "where were you" by kathrin shorr
• "nothing better" by the postal service (still) (ed: best breakup song. sounds way happier than it is. but i have trouble when he attests that hockey games are divided into quarters and not periods)
• "waltz #2" by elliott smith (still)
• "a" by barenaked ladies (i go through love/hate periods with this song. this is a love period)
• "the partisan" by leonard cohen
• "reasonland" by antje duvekot
• "close to me" by the cure
• "i was just thinking" by teitur
• "older chests" by damian rice. can't remember if this has been on the list before

updated to include the songs i couldn't think of last night:

• "back of your hand" by danielle howle
• "the last of the famous international playboys" by morrissey (this has been On My List since we went to the cure vs. the smiths dance party in ithaca this summer)
• "beestung" by kristin hersh
• "mother" by tori amos
• "bad day" by r.e.m. (ha!)
• "true faith" by new order
• "kiss off" by the violent femmes
• "evenflow" by pearl jam (there are some lines where i do a frighteningly good impression of eddie vedder)
• "bring a torch jeannette, isabella" by mannheim steamroller (it's too early for christmas music but this is just pretty and unrelated to christmasness)
• "carnival" by natalie merchant

this extremely long list of songs proves what i've been saying all along: i have no control over the DJ, people. whatever comes out just comes out with no forethought (kind of like my blog posts). and i can think of very few things that are more annoying than having 8 songs stuck in your head AT THE SAME TIME.

you may have surmised...

...that the computer's dead.

but thanks to yaymee, i will have a computer! however since i'm only a pseudo-computer geek (which is WAY worse than a real one in my estimation), i'm having trouble hooking up other computers to my internet connection at home... GAH!

so for now, updates will come when i'm at school putting off something i could be doing that will be graded ultimately.

for instance: at this moment i should be writing a paper on counterintelligence, its flaws and using a case study to make recommendations to prevent american intelligence breaches.

the computer's dead

sound familiar? like maybe the same thing i said at this time last week?

i'm at school now and i've looked up a possible solution.

cross your fingers, toes, noses, etc.

i have 2 papers, an online exam, and an incomplete to beg for this weekend...

new meme because i'm procrastinating... again. or still.

i was at kari's blog and saw that today was the day to put your music player on shuffle and react to the first five songs. okely-dokely...

1. "follow you down" by the gin blossoms: i have this song? i mean, i've always had a weakness for "allison road" but i had no idea i had this song
2. "the sweetest sound" by gina forsyth: ah, good song, good memories. i love playing this song on the guitar... so sad
3. "communist daughter" by neutral milk hotel: this song is weird. oddly catchy, but weird. (not like all the normal NMH songs) i mean, "semen stains the mountaintops"? i'll never look at the snow-covered rockies the same way...
4. "pretty good year" by tori amos: the first song i fell in love with of of in the pink. not totally surprising since it's the first track, but man... i STILL love this song so much...
5. "i'm no heroine" by ani difranco: feminist anthem extraordinaire, and my favorite line in there is a metaphor that is quite literal for me, "who says i like right angles?" i don't - i prefer curves and find it almost impossible to make a straight line...
6. "how soon is now?" by the smiths: okay, i said five songs. but how could i not mention this song? this is such a fantastic song... depressing but elating at the same time... and the precursor to morrissey's "disappointed" which is another depressingly elating song...

surprising, yet not.

i really missed talking to you today.

a whole lot.

more warm fuzzies, thoughts and prayers please

... for mary elizabeth, born today to my friends matt and nicole, who was baptized and died shortly thereafter.

a tip of the hat...

...to yaymee:

today for lunch i am having a pouch of tuna, a dannon light n fit plus fiber apple yogurt, and a diet coke. (also hot n spicy cheezits but that's just for me)

more proof that i may, indeed, be off my rocker

i walked into the library on monday afternoon to pick up a copy of (the book, not the movie) the falcon and the snowman from mara when i was greeted by this sign:

it was so surreal that i did a double take, then started walking to the computer section of the library. as i walked i started giggling. then laughing (quietly, this WAS the library). by the time i got to mara i was laughing more than i was comfortable with.

she asked what the problem was and i told her there was an insane sign just inside the door. by the time we got up to look at it, i was laughing uncontrollably, but attempting to maintain decorum, since i was in the library.

so i had to go outside because i was having a case of the church giggles.

how sad is it that this made me laugh so hard i cried?

very.

whoa...

semaphoria updated her blog...

and she may start blogging again...

i say more pictures! earlier i said more cowbell. which is funny, but nonsensical.

(she really makes me cry in the good way a lot... she has been my best friend for longer than i've been on the internets, and is hands-down one of my favorite people on the planet)

whoa #2...

erik updated his blog.

he tried to backhandedly insult my dog (whatever, i can play paranoid if i want) but i showed him what's what.

he makes me laugh because he's insane. in the good way.

the sweater curse

the legend of the sweater curse, as told by knitty

if you don't feel like reading the article, it basically states that knitting a time and effort intensive project (such as a sweater, although a pair of knitted overall hot pants may also meet the criteria) for a significant other without a significant bond such as Marriage will result in the significant other dumping yo' ass.

i don't date enough to EVER test the veracity of this curse. i also don't date enough for there to be a recipient for any handknits, but that's neither here nor there.

thanks to p-man, JD in training for the question!

happy birthday to monkey, from monkey

i just adore you! may this be as good of a year as was 26!

you so crazy, crazy mara...

why i don't like the end of daylight savings time

'tis the season

"my skin"

natalie merchant

Take a look at my body

Look at my hands

There's so much here

That I don't understand

Your face saving promises

Whispered like prayers

I don't need them

I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong

I've been treated so long

As if I'm becoming untouchable

Contempt loves the silence

It thrives in the dark

With fine winding tendrils

That strangle the heart

They say that promises

Sweeten the blow

But I don't need them

No, I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong

I've been treated so long

As if I'm becoming untouchable

I'm a slow dying flower

Frost killing hour

The sweet turning sour

And untouchable

O, I need

The darkness

The sweetness

The sadness

The weakness

I need this

I need

A lullaby

A kiss goodnight

Angel sweet

Love of my life

O, I need this

Do you remember the way

That you touched me before

All the trembling sweetness

I loved and adored?

Your face saving promises

Whispered like prayers

I don't need them

No, I don't need them

O, I need

The darkness

The sweetness

The sadness

The weakness

I need this

I need

A lullaby

A kiss goodnight

The angel sweet

Love of my life

I need this

Is it dark enough?

Can you see me?

Do you want me?

Can you reach me?

Or I'm leaving

You better shut your mouth

Hold your breath

Kiss me now you'll catch my death

O, I mean it