do i get dental with that?

so, my newest job is erik's thug.

he didn't quite put it like that (his words were "you have to defend me!" and, having at one point compiled a list of things that erik's requested of me to which i have agreed, my track record implying that do things that he puts in the imperative toward me, i assented. however, i told him i'm tired so my thugdom might be a bit surreal when i'm tired. because i'm tahred, y'all. but be careful what you ask for. heather as thug has its up and down sides. up? she's feisty. down? she's slightly bizarre. this parenthetical note has gone on far too long by this point. so i terminate it here.)

while i'm allergic to horses (yes, just put it on my list), and therefore wouldn't make a great knight on a white horse, i can kick your posterior at trivial pursuit and jeopardy.

i'll also need a 401(k), erik and an allowance for thugtools.

and for the record, i only ever mispronounce words when exceptionally tired. like now. and even then, i just speak with a southern accent. you draw your own inferences. :)