do i get dental with that?

so, my newest job is erik's thug.

he didn't quite put it like that (his words were "you have to defend me!" and, having at one point compiled a list of things that erik's requested of me to which i have agreed, my track record implying that do things that he puts in the imperative toward me, i assented. however, i told him i'm tired so my thugdom might be a bit surreal when i'm tired. because i'm tahred, y'all. but be careful what you ask for. heather as thug has its up and down sides. up? she's feisty. down? she's slightly bizarre. this parenthetical note has gone on far too long by this point. so i terminate it here.)

while i'm allergic to horses (yes, just put it on my list), and therefore wouldn't make a great knight on a white horse, i can kick your posterior at trivial pursuit and jeopardy.

i'll also need a 401(k), erik and an allowance for thugtools.

and for the record, i only ever mispronounce words when exceptionally tired. like now. and even then, i just speak with a southern accent. you draw your own inferences. :)

4 comments:

jay are Saturday, November 12, 2005 4:59:00 am  

so now Erik's hiding behind a skirt (with low-heeled boots)????? c'mon already. I would definitely hold out for the dental plan. Considering your current condition, tho, he may want to rethink his choice here. And what's to defend anyway? the fact that he was such a cute widdle boy?

heatherfeather Saturday, November 12, 2005 8:15:00 am  

i was actually wearing rather high heeled boots - those heels on the calf boots are 3.5" making me 5'10.5".

bow chicka bow wow...

and wait! my current condition? am i knocked up? have i got some sort of terminal disease? am i repellent to cute boys?

:)

bryan torre Saturday, November 12, 2005 8:32:00 pm  

southern accent: lose 10 IQ points
NY accent: lose 15 points
BBC accent: gain 20 points...

heatherfeather Sunday, November 13, 2005 12:30:00 pm  

i shall remember that so as to keep myself in your favour.

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