let's see how this goes

i've been watching the cursor blink onscreen for about 3 minutes. and i'm not having anything coherent to say.

i've got stuff going on but haven't been able to sort out my own head. rundown

iowa
i've always had a strange fixation on iowa. i've wanted to live there on and off for at least 15 years. i have no idea why. part of it is jane smiley, part of it is the song by dar williams, part of it is the writing program in ames, part of it is my (significantly misinformed and highly romanticized) thought that farm life is easier than not. it doesn't address my increasing abhorrence of winter, or the fact that it's iowa. and there's a job that i'm thinking of applying for in a town of 25,000 in iowa.

snow
so not happy with it. i need new tires need a car that doesn't have rear wheel drive, i need to never drive up hills. i need to never turn corners or try to stop on side streets. because the dishtailing and runing into curbs? not so good. i'm just glad i didn't run into people, cars or poles (in that order). i'm buying new tires tomorrow.

job applications
i'm not loving applying for jobs. i've spent probably 20 of the past 96 hours doing resume tweaking, cover letter writing, hunting and applying for jobs. i've applied for jobs in all the continental US time zones, a few in time zones ahead of greenwch mean time. in seattle, san diego, santa monica, las cruces, iowa, new york, washington, and vienna. so if i roll my eyes or vomit if you ask me what i'm doing after i graduate in june (june!), that's why. i have no freakin' clue.

birthdays
today's my sister's birthday (happy birthday chimellie!), a few days ago was mary's birthday (happy birthday mary!), as well as dominic's birthday (woo dominic! it feels like just yesterday when we were wondering if your mama was going to birth you on my bed as she napped through new year's), and ermie's birthday (no, that doesn't say "ernie" nor is it a typo. happy birthday ermie!).

misc.
freakin' tired. so. freakin'. tired. all the time. but i know what the 2 reasons for that are (neither of them illicit or of relaxed morals).

also thanks to jess for posting the craptarsia cow on her blog - it became my photo with the most views on flickr in ONE DAY. this proves she is popular, i am not. it also answers the question as to why i had so much traffic on my lo! posting today. jess, welcome home - sorry today was sucky... :(