two open letters

dear person or animal that threw half a burrito into the backyard from the alley:

thank you for your kindness and generosity. however, i would greatly appreciate it if in the future, you deposited your half-burritos in the trash can that's next to the fence in the alley. it caused an argument between the pet and i at midnight (when i wasn't wearing my glasses or contacts so i couldn't see what he was trying to eat out of the wild horseradish plant, but i was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to eat stuff out of the plants) and again at 5:10 this fine saturday morning when i had forgotten he was eating stuff out of the plants. ultimately i won, and he did not consume what i identified as a half burrito but did not have anything to touch it with to throw it away properly. we then went back to bed.

in summary, thanks for coming by and thanks for sharing what you have! please, next time use the trash can. have a lovely weekend - enjoy it as it's supposed to snow/rainsnow on monday.

kind regards,
heatherfeather



dear person or animal who removed a half-burrito from the yard sometime between 5:11 and 9:45 this morning:

thank you for your kind service to my pet and myself. it saved me the trouble of being skeeved out by picking up food someone else sent to my yard. while my yard is a wreck because of a year-long battle between my landlords and us folk who live in the house, it's nice to know that people other than i care what the yard looks like. you're a kind and generous carbon-based life form.

have a lovely weekend - enjoy it as it's supposed to snow/rainsnow on monday.

warmly,
heatherfeather

p.s. do you mind shutting the three gates to the yard when you pass through please? because when all three are left open and the dog comes out, no one winds up in a good mood except the dog. also it lets other dogs into the yard, and you may have noticed by now that my dog would love nothing more than to eat other dogs and kids and cats. thanks - you're a doll.

2 comments:

villanovababy Saturday, October 08, 2005 6:34:00 pm  

that is disgustin'... you should make a sign that says... "I like my burritos FRESH!"

haiku_girl Monday, October 10, 2005 1:30:00 am  

You crack me up.

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erratically updated for food, yarn, or other nonspecified reasons