babies vs. grown ups

so in my sitting on babies job, i've been thinking about the things that are cool about being a baby vs. being a grown up... here's the pros lists


  1. you can nap while eating
  2. you never have to wait for the bathroom
  3. people will carry you up and down stairs
  4. you get to nap like 14 times a day
  5. you're allowed to put everything in your mouth, even in mixed company
  6. you don't have to pretend to listen to boring people
  7. did i mention all the napping?
  8. other people feed you
  9. you wear funny clothes that people don't point and stare at because they're tiny and thus, cute
  10. you never have to clean dog poop out of the backyard
  11. you get carried basically everywhere
  12. you get to hug teddy bears all day long
  13. you get to watch people go by without the bother of pretending you like them
  14. and once again, the naps

grown ups:

  1. you get to drive (granted, not ALL grown ups do)
  2. you get to drink vodka and sodas
  3. you get to cook
  4. you get to eat more than milk
  5. you get to drive
  6. you get to live by yourself
  7. you get to get pedicures
  8. you can sit up of your own volition without wondering if your trunk muscles have developed enough to let you sit of your own volition and fall on your face if they're not strong enough
  9. you get the jokes on the daily show
  10. you can play the guitar
  11. you can make playlists on iTunes
  12. you can go shoe shopping
  13. you can make crazy bun hair
  14. people don't have to use toothpaste to make a bow stick in your hair and if they try you can kick them in the shins
wow - tough call...


Anonymous Tuesday, October 04, 2005 3:35:00 am  

i am sure you could give a baby a pedicure if you really wanted to

semaphoria Tuesday, October 04, 2005 10:52:00 am  

i agree with fritz - the baby pedicure thing is actually vital. if i don't cut the kids toenails, it results in much carnage. BUT this is one of my favorite lists of all time. thank god for vodka and the daily show or i would revert.

Thomas Tuesday, October 04, 2005 6:01:00 pm  

Little babies can violate a person's personal space and get away with it.

heatherfeather Tuesday, October 04, 2005 6:14:00 pm  

oooh! good points, all of you!

Unknown Tuesday, October 04, 2005 10:06:00 pm  

You make me laugh!

I'd pick baby. And it's not just the napping, it's the napping while eating. That's too cool.

Yaymee Wednesday, October 05, 2005 12:38:00 am  

I definitely went shoe shopping while I was a baby. I think I might have even shoe-shopped in utero. I will ask my mom though.


Jay Wednesday, October 05, 2005 7:26:00 pm  

I think being the baby would win out. Who wouldn't want to hang out with teddy bears all day long? That is 100% Awesome Sauce!

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