Missing Jake

I've really been missing my friend Jake lately. It comes and goes in phases. Last I heard, he was moving out of his apartment in Paris and to Copenhagen to be nearer his girlfriend from California who was living in Sweden. (If I had a dollar for every time I've done that...) But I've been perusing some of his old emails, and it's making me miss him more keenly... He loves his Cadbury Mini Eggs come Easter... Here's a gem illuminating the rockin'ness of Jake:

"The Book Of Jake 8:2

and then, spring cometh, and the winter did flee like a pansy. and the peoples emerged from thier coverings.. and what to thier surprise should appear.. GOD had been.. and he hath planted his seed all over the place... and from each drop sprung goodness.. but alas, this goodness had but one form.. it sprang like tigger.. the peoples picked up the egg shaped gifts from god and placed them gently on thier quivering tongues.. and they knew that it was good.. they knew that it was cadbury.. and they feasted.. upon the Mini eggs, and full size eggs and breakfast cereals... and jake turneth to his people and spoke: "Tonight we shall feast upon the fruit of our lord.. and tommorow we shall purge. Jebidiah," he said,"turn on the stereo and lets get to eatin."

End of Book of Jake"

WHERE ARE YOU?!