things i shouldn't be allowed to own

computers
vacuum cleaners
hairdryers

computer? well my computerlessness should attest to that.

vacuum? it's dead. this one lasted over 3 years though, so it was a good one. too bad ernie's still shedding.

hairdryers? my 342958209859018414 tons of hair makes them tired and they die after about a year or so. more if i don't dry my hair ever. which is why i've had this one for like 2 years.