blink

i've opened this window six or seven times since monday, and looked at the cursor blink in the :: Create Post window.

i've had nothing to say. and i'm a big believer in not blogging because i feel i have to - it's not my job, it's not my responsibility. so, even though i'm not posting much, i'm still reading blogs voraciously.

i'm just being quiet. or napping.

either one.

randomania

1. the side of my right hand is swollen from the baseball bat
2. since last saturday (8 days ago) i have paid to stand in a cage and have 1,000 baseballs and softballs lobbed at me
3. i'm getting quite good
4. next time i'll try the 60 mph hardball cage
5. enough about the batting cages
6. annie is going to ireland in the morning - lucky annie!
7. conan o'brien's funny
8. bob newhart's still alive
9. i have a food craving that's simultaneously alluring and repulsive
10. for a deep-fried ham, turkey, and cheese sandwich served with jam
11. this is, of course, a monte cristo sammich
12. now that i've listed the ingredients, i'm even more allured and repulsed
13. off the topic of monte cristos, i've become enamored of persian food
14. particularly adas polo with chicken
15. from caspian in irvine
16. i'm starving
17. which is ridiculous because i just finished dinner 2 hours ago
18. but going to the batting cages every day or every other day is a serious workout
19. and my left deltoid muscle is getting very large
20. so i'm practicing switch-hitting occasionally to get better at batting righty
21. no new pictures - sorry!
22. the dog is okay - the final verdict remains to be seen
23. seriously, i'm starving
24. and tired
25. so good night

bridezilla

i've been having dreams that are so stressful to me that i wake up with a tension headache and in a foul mood. they consist of moving out of apartments, having to evict tenants for drug use, and last night's dream - not being able to put on a wedding dress.

in last night's dream, i was getting ready to be married to mr. pants (who never appeared in the dream) in a victorian house. okay, we were going to be married in the gazebo outside of the house. and it was 6:50 pm, and i was just trying to find a room where i could put on my wedding dress. i went all over this bloomin' mansion (it was HUGE) and couldn't find a single room to get ready in. then someone who worked at the event facility told me that usually the brides get ready in the bathroom. and i thought that was a terrible plan, because my dress could get wet or dirty and i basically loathe having my shoes off in a public bathroom. (side note: my dress was about the shade of brown that unbleached butcher paper is with tiny blue flowers and an ugly waist wrap thing that was on alison's paper dress that got her kicked off of project runway)

i decided that i needed to get a room. so there was a small, informal dining room that many of the guests and staff were using to work on small projects. (why the guests needed to work on projects? dunno) i decided to use that room, and went in and announced that i needed the room to get dressed, and everyone needed to leave. the fatal flaw in my plan was that there were 6 doors to the room, none of which locked. so i begged someone to find my mom to help me empty the room. my mom came in, people kept coming and going. whenever the room would be almost empty, new people would come in. so i'd get really unpleasant and order everyone out of the room - from the top of the dining room table - and almost everyone would leave, including my mom. so i'd beg her to come back, and she'd be hesitatant but would come back, however a ton more people would come in. i also suddenly realized that i had never arranged for a photographer. i eventually had a breakdown, started crying and begging everyone to leave. then it was finally just my mom and i. and suddenly, robin williams entered the room. and wouldn't leave, but was doing his spastic robin williams-ness.

so i threatened to break a wine bottle over his head.*

then i woke up.



*in my head this was the perfect threat because he'd be all fresh out of rehab and not want contact with wine. however the bottle was empty and he still wouldn't leave.

knitting talk because i'm a space case

i'm posting a list of possible things i'd like to knit so i can stop wondering what i wanted to work on. for instance, there are a million sweaters i'd like to make, but couldn't think of any of them, so i'm working on a second rogue in teal. BRIGHT teal.

"do i want to knit this most likely with small to massive modifications?" list:

• robin melanson's corset pullover (IK spring 2003)
  
• leigh radford's gull stitch cardigan (IK winter 2005)
• ysolda's matilda jane
• jodi green's gatsby girl (IK fall 2006)
• libby's belle epoque (knitty)
  
• i'll most likely keep adding to this list while i think...
  

oh the clock... say the words to make it stop

i had an amazing weekend. here's photographic proof of the good time i had:

see? mr. pants and i are smiling! okay, even though it's not really pants' face, you get the idea.

we went to a baseball game. don't believe me? well, shame on you. i don't lie. here's a picture so i can prove myself to you.

don't you feel ashamed now?

pants and i drove around my hometown, went to parks, looked at overlooks. we talked about the future, we talked about the past, we talked about the nature of man in the context of eternity and milton. it was a perfect weekend.

and early early monday morning (some might call it sunday night), ernie bit mr. pants' stepbrother on the hands and arms*. now we have to decide what to do with a dog that bites people.

it's been a pretty lousy day.


*there were some relevant circumstances, but ernie's bite response was FAR beyond warranted. it's a little scary.

happy mid-august!

dear michaels craft store,

it's august 16.

knock it off.

thank you,
heather

by request of the nicknamed...

mr. pants is heretofore known as "rabbit" or "rabbitmonkey".

if i'm feeling ridiculous, it will be "piratebunny" or something.

basically if you see a random, confusing nickname, it's mr. pants.

1111 + 1

this is my 1112th post. i'm bummed that 1111 was so blah.

and i never even made it to the beach. but it was still a great. day.

what i've missed about being home

i'm going to the beach this morning.

later kids.

knickers in a knot

dear staff at euphoria nails and spa,

thanks for letting me know that there'd be a wait for my walk-in pedicure. (i really didn't mind. if you walk in, you sometimes have to wait. that's the way the world works.) i sat in your shiny, new waiting area after picking out my nail polish. i had wanted to flip through some heavy reading like us weekly or people or in touch, but didn't mind waiting and not looking through those magazines. because you didn't have magazines. but you had a receptionist that was standing over the shoulder of someone applying acrylic nails to a woman wearing hair that only exists in the 909.

it was a little odd that i was waiting because there were three (3) employees sitting in the pedicure chairs. one was sleeping. but i'm actually one of the more patient people in the world. so i entertained myself for about 15 minutes. sending text and picture messages, thinking about the future, wondering what the $8 difference between the spa pedicure ($17) and the deluxe pedicure ($25) was. in many ways, i'm pretty self-sufficient. besides, i was there because my mom and sister kept talking about your new, fancy pedicure chairs.

i wasn't expecting to get to sit in your superfancy pedicure chairs so quickly, especially since the number of people working, talking, and/or sleeping hadn't changed in the those 15 minutes. the water in the tub was slightly more generous than tepid, but when i asked you to warm it up, you added about 2 tablespoons of tepid water which was very relaxing.

however the water got cold after i sat there, completely ignored for 15 minute with my toes pruning up in the water. so i took my feet out of the water (the bubble jets were starting to bother me, and no longer feel relaxing). i appreciate that you ran over in 10 seconds to ask if the water was cold (thereby indicating you knew i was sitting there long enough for the water to get cold). when i said that the water was indeed cold, you emptied the tub, refilled it with tepid water, and wandered off again.

i regret that i didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye after the water got cold a second time and no one had acknowledged my presence otherwise. i took my time drying off my feet. i even turned the bubble jets off, and drained the tub before i left because it seemed wasteful to leave it running and whatnot.

the real shame of it all is that i'm an amazing tipper and i come back every 2 weeks like clockwork, and once i come a lot, i start rounding my amazing tips up even more.

anyhow, i probably won't have a chance to drop in and hang out like that for 45 minutes again, so take care!

love and stuff,
heatherfeather

what on earth is wrong with me?

how is it that i JUST found out that fergie from black eyed peas is stacy from kids incorporated*?


*bonus prize to those who can ID the person next to stacy without cheating.

new pictures!

okay, i just got like 60 pictures from my sister from graduation and added them to the set.

for people like bryan, there may be a few where my ninjas are orchestrating an escape.

click on the picture of my mom, sister and i with a dulcimer for the whole set.

my name is heather. i gauge swatch lazily.

i did okay and fudged the numbers with the honeymoon cami. it came out pretty much as written, but not quite.

because, as you can see above, i swatch lazily.

so, here is honeymoon cami v.2. it's about 2" too big in the waist, and 3" too short in the body.

when will i remember that i want a shirt to be 15" from the underarm, and that 13" makes me look dumpy?

hopefully soon.

(please note - the first picture? awful, but it's too bright outside for good pictures - even the shady one is overexposed. and i'm probably going to frog this anyway and make it again in a size smaller with 2" extra length anyway. as soon as i'm not tired of the pattern anymore.)

fo report:
pattern: honeymoon cami from knitty
yarn: patons katrina in ocean
needles: size 6 addi naturas
started: august 1, 2006
finished: august 7, 2006

this is the particleman...

this is the particleman...
Originally uploaded by semaphoria.

in 8th grade, fred (also known assemaphoria) and i wrote a nonsensical story composed of inside jokes. we wrote it in installments, and passed it back and forth for the other to add more an more and more.

it's a very silly, stream of consciousness story, but it's only second to our "noise" tape with snippets of random songs and inside jokes.

which i may have completely and utterly lost. (the tape and the note, it seems)

but at least fred has the letter.

for the thronging masses

hi!

yes, i post much less frequently the past 2 months or so.

part of it is my enamoredness with mr. pants.

part of it was moving.

part of it is job hunting.

part of it is living at home with mom and sis and having people to talk to outside of the computer (it's a pretty novel thing, really. i forgot what it was like to talk to people all the time.)

so, here's the skinny:

• i've learned how to play crazy bridge
• i've played a lot of boggle and scrabble
• i've spent a lot of time with mr. pants' family
• i've been busy not getting a job yet in california or otherwise
• i'm catching up with people in california
• i'm visiting ernie when i visit mr. pants
• i'm finally catching up on sleep after a very sleep deprived* month in denver
• i'm knitting a new version of a honeymoon cami out of patons katrina in ocean. that's a yarn that i's mostly rayon, and is very sproingy and it's difficult to moderate tension and it knits up a very heavy fabric, but i still dig it.
  
• i'm having a really gross ligament snapping going on in my left wrist under my thumb when i knit and pronate my wrist.

that's all i can think of.

look! picture! the old version of honeymoon cami that i frogged because it was TOO BIG.

*due to no a/c in my old apartment and it being muy muy caliente in my apartment thwarting sleep.

let's just call it something i ate*

my mom, sister and i play games a lot. frequently, it is either scrabble or boggle. however, pictionary is another. early on, we had to come up with ways to represent ourselves graphically. i'm the straight haired one, my sister had curly long hair, and my mom had curly short hair. though our hair lengths have varied, our icons have not.

last night i was sick. when i woke up this morning, this was sitting on my bathroom sink. (click through for big to read the text and see the drawings)

please note, my sister's wearing lip gloss in the ball point pen drawing.

she's so silly.

*name that literary reference, win a "prize".**

**by "prize" i mean a general warm fuzzy feeling for being literary-minded.

top dog, under dog

back when ernie was small enough to fit under another puppy.

i saw the ernestine this weekend. he's happy and well and silly. he also tried to eat somoene, ran out of the house and tried to bring a hurt locker to another dog that tried to attack him.

by and large though, he's a good dog in a good home. i love him...