i usually waffle between blue and really happy.
hardly ever angry.
except now.
who the hell does he think he is?
i'm a pretty even tempered person
Andy and Matt in Austin
two things:
whoever took this picture of andy and matty in austin - you're the best!
did you watch world leader pretend on the today show like you should have? good. or else you are dead to me.
i lied, there are three things - they have more photos and downloadables on their site - check it out.
i'm never gonna know you now, but i'm gonna love you anyhow
i got a mix CD a few months ago from a friend.
just by reason of timing and whatnot, i've not had a chance to really listen to it. (it came in the end of may, just in time for finals, end of year madness, losing my job, moving to new york, blah blah, more excuses, hookie hookie)
i listened to it a few times, and ID'd a few songs that i liked tons and tons (seriously, "nothing better" by the postal service is fantastical - something about using the word "sutures" in the lyrics really hooked me). but it never made it into my regular rotation.
but the last 7-10 days, it's ALL I LISTEN TO. bless my friend's heart, there's 4 elliott smith songs...
as i explained to the compiler of songs before receiving the CD, i LOVE elliott smith, but i've never owned any of his music. my college roommates had all his CD's. when we all got divorced (and boy, was it nasty, and yes, that has a ton to do with why i won't have roommates anymore), they got to keep their own CDs, and for whatever reason, i've never bought them for myself.
and elliott's "waltz #2" has become my flavor du jour.... i can't stop listening to it, i can't stop listening to it, i can't stop singing it when i'm walking to class or strolling the baby around the kitchen. that's not even taking a moment to acknowledge theother elliott songs, the leonard cohen, the neutral milk hotel, the flaming lips, the postal service, the daft punk...
so, to the gift giver (who even coordinated its arrival with my birthday) i am sorry it's taken me so long to find my pace with the CD, and i can't thank you enough for the enormously goodliness of it. and now "volcano" and "mother of god" have been supplanted by "waltz #2".
you: _________________________________________
call of duty: __________
mariah. or, mariugh....
so, while i lost weight in new york, it's both implausible and impossible for me to have lost 4362 lbs. in new york. how else to explain the ginormousness of this sweater, though?
now, i'm still working on the hood, but i don't think that will take care of the problem. and seeing how i REFUSE to send this sweater to the froggy pond, i think that i have 2 options:
- take in the sides, and have 4 inches of fabric on the side seams
- gain 4362 lbs.
also, you may observe that the sleeves end and the neck begins at the
if anyone else has other thoughts on how to make this work without frogging, PLEASE let me know...
i joined the mariahalong without looking at the site really until last night. and saw the yoke modifications. however, that doesn't fix the fact that it will fall off my shoulders... the sleeves go to my knees... stupid lying gauge swatch... muttermuttermutter...
boring
yaymee has recently brought to my attention that i haven't been as interesting as usual lately. for that, i do apologize.
this spate of boringhood is because:
a) i'm insanely busy with school and sitting on infants
b) i've had my brain eaten by worms that suck the interestingness right out of me
c) your mama is boring (not yaymee's mama, she's actually quite cool, and i just felt like throwing in a your mama joke, weak as it was)
in updates about what's actually going on, i say unto you:
- political theory makes me want to cry and throw things and live in a medically induced coma until this class is finished
- i dig the baby upon whom i sit
- i missed my dog when i was gone
- but i forsee a time in the not-so-distant future when i will need to find a better home for him than i would be able to provide should i move to nyc, dc, or europe when i get a job after graduation
- this makes me sad and somewhat relieved
- because going to new york this summer taught me i could leave him and both of us would be okay and i would have more time for myself if i didn't have a pet
- i became a single parent (to the dog) too young (22 years old)
- i'm graduating in june and i'm SO excited about that
- i really like school but am chomping at the bit to be finished
- i missed some things about denver (like my friendies and the weather), but i know that i would be happier living and working somewhere else
- i anticipate a time in the sooner rather than later future when i will have to give up blogging
- and delete my blog(s)
- that makes me sad because it's fun and i have encountered really interesting/fun/weird/joy-inducing/all-in-all lovely people
- and it's really nice to have a forum to talk about myself because i didn't do that enough, and was far too outwardly directed in every way
- it frightens me a little that i have found a career field that i am this interested in
- i am currently putting off writing cover letters, updating resumes, and applying for jobs and fellowships
- but all of my deadlines are at the end of this week or the beginning of next, so i'd better get back to it.
synopsis: sorry i'm being boring, them's the breaks. i'm busy and happy and scared and excited and sad.
i just heard from rockstar matt
here's what he had to say about the performance that you will watch on friday morning (we'll talk about how sad i am not to be in nyc right now when he's there for a WEEK at a later date):
"I am writing with a little ray of good news. I am in NYC right now working with my band, World Leader Pretend. On September 29 and 30, we will be performing live and taking part in the "Make a Difference Today" program, the hurricane relief initiative from NBC News’ Today Show, WMG and Habitat for Humanity International. We will be helping build homes at Rockefeller Plaza to be delivered to families affected by Hurricane Katrina. We will also be performing live at Rockefeller Plaza on the following days: - Thursday, Sept. 29: performance @ Noon at Rockefeller Plaza - Friday, Sept. 30: interview and performance @ 8:30 a.m. on NBC's Today show with Katie Couric. Feels good to be doing our part in helping, for a while there I just felt so helpless not being able to go down and help out my hometowns of Slidell [LA] and New Orleans. The good news is, power is restored, in Slidell and New Orleans finally, and I will be going down on [date deleted so the man can have some rest] to do more helping and rebuilding. all for a good cause. check it yo."
so tune in or get to rockefeller plaza.
who's in?
Saturday, october 22, 2005
Dar Williams
Boulder Theater, Boulder, CO
ridiculous question because most of my readers are on the west coast (west side!) and the east coast
but if you wanna come with me let me know!
haven't seen her since july 2001 in camden, maine. that was the year i saw her like 4 times because she was EVERYWHERE i was (3x in georgia, 1x in maine)
i miss new england. and the east coast in general.
iran's being referred to the security council
the IAEA didn't blink... sorta.
they're not referring them immediately, but at a date in the future.
PLUG! PLUG!
world leader pretend will play on the today show on nbc this friday, 30 september.
watch it. i really can't stress how amazing they are live.
update: haiku girl indicated that i forgot to illustrate that the boys in WLP are crazy cute. the saddest thing is, i'd forgotten all about how cute at least matty is because he's matty. and another sad thing, is andy isn't in the picture above and he's pretty cute too. but i do love those boys.
never sit on a baby.
never shake a baby.
never feed a baby to a land shark.
so many rules to remember...
but the house was built too small...(redux)
there's been some discussion over at thomas' place in the past about the geico tiny house commercial. there's a link somewhere but i'm lazy today. sitting on babies is draining.
anyhow, chris asked me if i live in that house because the ceiling looks like 4 inches above my head in my picture of my newly red hair. (you have to whisper the title of the picture)
well, it's not. it's about 9 inches above my head.
i live in a garden level apartment, and the ceilings are (at their highest) 6'4". at their lowest they're about 6'1". if you're over, realistically, 5'11" you are liable to thwack your head on a doorway at least one time (more if you've got a really steep learning curve). but the man who lived here before me was 6'7" which meant he could only stand up straight when he was outside. why would you live like that?
if you come to visit me, you've been warned.
haiku girl said it looked like i was in space. i lied and said i was. :(
truly, truly ohhhhh...
so, morrissey's "disappointed" is really one of my favorite songs ever. i tend to think of it as his solo version of "how soon is now?" and there are a million lines i love.
but my favorite is "drank too much, and i said too much, and there's nowhere to go but down..."
however i think people would get the wrong idea if i put it on a t-shirt.
crazy octopuslikethingy
i've got all the million-odd pieces of mariah on one needle, have started the raglan decreases on the yoke.
and it don't look like a sweater yet.
have to go to work (where i can knit! sitting on babies is the best job ever!) and will post pictures later.
i'm such a tease about pictures sometimes...
day numero uno
today, i start my new job.
the job is sitting on a baby.
so far i've had 3 people tell me i'll get fired if i actually sit upon the baby.
hey party people - an update with photos
i had my last day at work yesterday, effectively ending my free time with the internets...
so i'll be back on saturday with my own internets in my own house with my own pet.
things to look forward to:
my first three hats!
the kitty hat:
the pink hat made of yarn i thought was cursed into not being able to be finished:
mariah progress:
one day this will look like a sweater and not frankenstein's monster
pictures of someone's cat wearing a hat with cat ears and feeling afeard:
cy, the first cat i didn't hate, and - dare i say it? - even really loved.
he's quick so hard to catch him sitting still. but he sits still when he's on jake's lap!
filling in the blanks about my trips to washington and upSTAAAAAATE
lots of complaining about school and being broke
i know, you really can't wait for that last one.
just because...
...ivar forkbeard, MD (or is it ph.d.?) is being such a good sport about me enlisting him in a CAGE FIGHT, in his honor, i direct you to the "meat, meat, meat" installation in the gallery of regrettable food.
look for the overly dramatic frogs and vishnu while you're there.
sure and begorrah
right when it looked really promising for ira disarmament, violence has broken out in belfast again.
it looks like the ira are not the antagonists this time - rather the orange order.
in the next round of internet cage fighting:
cherz, will you ref?
fall into knitty
the new knitty is up!
i like more of the patterns straight off the bat than i do usually - i think that's good!
still tons of shrugs, and cables are evidently the reason for the season!
i am a naughty knitblogger, too
i'm still working on mariah. i'm about halfway up the second sleeve and about to put it on a holder, do the right front and then raglan those babies together!
i will also be making:
a beanie for my favorite non-sequiter writing, non-transexual friend who prefers to dress along traditional gender lines.
a kitty hat for my favorite opera singer who tries to pay it forward with powdered powdered powdered powdered donettes.
you too, caribou
if i haven't emailed or called or texted or posted lately, it's because
i
am
SO
BUSY
it doesn't mean i love you less. (it also don't mean i love you more, either... sorry, them's the rules)
the memory of rain
last night i was up on my roof looking for a break from the humidity that had permeated the past 3 days. it started raining. it was a spring shower, lost in the end of august. the raindrops were tiny and plentiful, falling gently through the warm air. they succeeded in soaking everything in a matter of seconds.
it was the remnants of hurricane katrina.
a sad echo of what she had been just 2 days before.
i am having a really difficult time with this hurricane - everyone i know who lives or has family in new orleans is okay. i've heard from them. there's one person i'm still very worried about - he isn't able to write email. he isn't able to phone. he isn't able to walk or speak. and i have to hope that his caretakers got him out of town, out of his home - his home which is his sole posession in conjunction with the trust his father left for him when he died. and i'm worried about the city.
oh, the city.
i went to college in new orleans. new orleans never held the party appeal that it holds for so many. i never wanted to experience mardi gras, and only stayed in town for one. and i stayed holed up in my apartment nearly the whole time. i didn't really want to go there at first - but they had my degree program (not everyone does), and a good one at that. their financial aid offer was FAR better than colorado state's.
so off i went. it was my first time experiencing REAL humidity (and i mean FAR more than anything i've experienced since). i went to school, i met some people, but i didn't love it. i made some friends, i started to love school, i found a great coffee shop that played amazing acoustic music, but i didn't love it. the first time i stepped on a frog on the sidewalk, i hated it. the first time i saw a palmetto bug (think: enormous flying cockroach) i nearly died of a heart attack.
then i left for the summer, and went to europe for 2 months. most of the time i was in france, in spain, in my beloved ireland, i couldn't wait to get back. when i got back to the US i went to california and met some friends at the grand canyon. then we had a grand rendez-vous in new orleans. that's when i started to love it. it was mostly situational, i believe. i met jake, who turned out to be one of my best friends. i'm lucky enough right now that he lives in new york, and i've seen him a few times since i've been here.
that fall, we had a hurricane evacuation. hurricane earl. there were jokes tossed to and fro about the hurricane with the redneck name driving us out of town. we went to greenville, sc, to asheville, nc, and spent a night at lake toxaway, nc. (some of my favorite pictures i've ever taken were on that trip) there were madlibs in the car, singing, and it was an adventure. we watched jim cantore on the weather channel in his north face jacket waiting for earl to hit. and hurricane earl never happened. he went east and dealt a blow to mississippi, instead.
we just got 10 free days out of classes. we came back, and surveyed the tape left on the windows. not a week later, it started raining. and raining and raining. all friday classes after 10 am were cancelled. tropical storm frances came to town. we left all the tape on the windows, and gathered in my bedroom, mina, jake, lynne, david, and i. maybe colleen and/or alan, i don't really remember. i was the only one with a cell phone. that day, the rain brought the water levels up to the porch. there was flooding. rockstar matt lost his basement apartment and most of his rock star gear.
as that year went on, i grew to fiercely love new orleans. the enormous trees down st. charles avenue, the functional touristyness of the streetcars, the little neighborhoods with attitude unto themselves, the people with more personality than can usually fit into one human being. i had a cajun anatomy professor who weighed about 350 lbs, wore jeans, a plaid flannel shirt, and suspenders every day. in lieu of a pointer, he used a fishing rod.
there were heartbreaking areas, too. for every opulent plantation style mansion, you had to go just 2 blocks to find people living 2 tax brackets lower, if they had the jobs to pay taxes. there was crime out the wazoo. abject poverty that i've never seen in the US, with the exception of the families i worked with in maine. there was a housing project that i saw once on the south side of the river. it's been long enough that i can't even remember the name of the town (not weswego, though). it looked like something straight out of a post-apocalyptic/nuclear fallout film. the building itself was absolutely blighted. it was called something to the effect of "Fisher Gardens" and the tagline was "A Vision of the Future." complete with small children playing with small objects in a weed, broken glass, and needle infested vacant lot right next to the crack deal going down.
my last summer in new orleans was spectacular. coffee and reading on maple street. we had a porch day, wherein we sat on the porch of the house from sunrise to sunset, watching the people walk by, the tour buses stopping at our house periodically. walking around city park. going to whole foods and passing the purple people and the purple people house. the dollar theater in kenner. esplanade mall. and hal.
oh, my darling hal. he's the one i reference above - rock star matt and i were his caregivers. the finest heart i've ever known beats inside the man who speaks not a word with his mouth but speaks volumes with his eyes, with his piano, with his love. the only photos i have of people framed and mounted on my walls at home are of hal.
whenever i meet people who are from new orleans, who have lived in that bizzare, magical city, i feel an instant connection. the people who remember schwegmann's and K&B, who know that counties are for other states - la louisiane uses parishes, the ones who know that the best book store in the world is on maple street, the best coffee co-op is on daneel, that you can play scrabble there with one of your favorite musicians, who know how to spell tchoupitoulas, have seen shows at howlin' wolf and the mermaid lounge, who know how to pronounce carondelet, who know a good bit of lagniappe when they see it, who know that dock st is near hickory and dickory but not the water, who have made jokes about the huey p. long bridge all the while praying that it wouldn't crumble under their car, the ones that ask "hey baby, where y'at?".
and i look at these pictures that are being plastered all over the news and try to reconcile them with the pictures in my memory. and i think of the people in fisher gardens, in the ninth ward. what happens when you make the transition from having virtually nothing to having nothing at all? what about the half million people who have lived there that have lost their homes? their families? their lives? their critical infrastructure has been reduced to practically nothing.
i can't help but think of the diseases that will spread from the standing water and the dead bodies... typhoid, cholera, dysentery. not to mention the water moccasins.
you hear the stories of the looting. the shots being fired at rescue helicopters. two parishes have tried to declare martial law but cannot because of the state constitution.
where do you begin rebuilding a city that took 300 years and 4 countries to make in the first place? how can it go from nothing back to anything?
will it ever be the same? of course not. there will always be the memory of katrina. katrina who finally upstaged her big sister, camille. she's the one of legends now. the one that broke the levees. that killed thousands, the one that displaced hundreds of thousands.
i stood on the roof in the rain last night for quite some time. watching the water fall in a mere memory of what it had been, what it had meant to so many thousands of people just hours before. i was, for the first time in years, overwhelmed by my own thoughts of gratitude for my privileges.
i don't have much. i don't get paid actual money. but what i can give i will, because i at least have something. i have too many pairs of shoes. i have more clothes than i actually wear. i have a bed to sleep in, a family that loves me. i am blessed richly with friendship. so i can do something.
won't you do something, too?
while i'm formulating
i'm in the process of writing a new orleans post. it's hard for me to write, and i want to do it well. in the meantime, i invite you to go to www.brownglasses.com to look at pictures. in particular, look at rachel's picture from september 1, 2004.