okay, my unfortunate use of the word "pickles" in this post has led people to wonder whether the rabbit died. you know, if there's a bun in the oven. if i'm in a family way.
the answer is no, and shame on you* for wondering. the choice of the word pickles was of an inside joke with myself that is pretty esoteric. and i failed to forget that stereotypically, women crave pickles when they're knocked up. which, i cannot repeat enough, I AM NOT.
*except maryam, because i could never tell her shame on her, because she's too darn tootin' cute.
important enough to reiterate
looky!
taking a break from pickles (what's interesting is that i hate pickles, but chose the word pickles because it's a little inside joke that i'm the only one who will probably understand the joke behind pickles).
anyhow i went to the batting cages this morning since it was under 100 degrees before noon for the first time in days and days. i started in the 50 mph hardball cage, did a few rounds, practiced switch hitting in one round of slow pitch softball, and moved up to the 60 mph hardball cage.
the 60 mph cage is a decent one for me right now, because i have to work a lot harder to make contact with the ball, much less hit it well. in my last round (which would have wound up being my last regardless), the ball was wild, and slammed into my thumb, index, middle, and ring fingers of my left hand at whatever speed 60 mph plus however fast i was swinging the bat was.
it's swollen. i tried taking pictures of it, but they didn't come out well, so i took a comparison picture. which just shows me that my hands look old.
(left to right: swollen, not swollen)
anyhow, i'm still knitting stuff lately, too. mr. pants asked for a scarf, in black. i've never knitted with black yarn before but it's difficult to see what you're knitting. especially if your sister requires low lighting indoors at all times. anyhow, i had thought that i'd make a pattern with broken rib in squares, grouped into blocks of 4 squares, but the squares of the broken rib weren't coming out well. so i changed to squares of seed stitch, grouped in blocks of 4.
it's also tricksy to photograph stitch definition in black yarn, but it's what pants wants. and what pants wants, pants gets. except when i overrule him. for those of you playing along at home, the yarn is patons satin in ebony on US7 needles. even though the blocks are divided by stockinette, it also is effective to flip it over, and have the blocks framed by reverse stockinette. i am a dodo and didn't take a picture of that.
but i did take pictures of a really boring looking WIP.
see? nothing all that exciting right now. it's wendy's sizzle. i'm using the brown sheep cotton fleece from the first honeymoon cami, in sedona. i did not remember to take a picture of rogue number 2 in an annoyingly bright teal. i'm really not sure about the color. when i was in the store looking at the color (patons classic merino in too teal) i thought, "hey, i wear bright colors" but i'm wondering if i'll wear this one. however, i've got the body, the back, and one sleeve done. i need to do the hood and another sleeve still. too far in to surrender, basically.
aaaaaaaaaaaand, i'm spent.
cannonball into the water
without being too specific, i am at a bit of a crossroads right now. i have to weigh my actual desire for a tangible outcome, see if i really want it. (to limit the number of times i say "it" we'll refer to the unnameable "it" as "pickles.") and if i really want pickles, how much i really want pickles. and if wanting pickles as much as i do is really enough to make this choice. because if i go through with this, there will be significant unpleasantness to get there, there will be significant struggle to stay there, and very few will ever know how much i had to go through to come out the other side.
this isn't about a person (i.e, pants and i are doing wonderfully - he's only vaguely related to the issue at hand), but is deeply rooted in me and this tangible thing. i appear to be cryptic, but i can't really talk about pickles on the internet. however my instincts are to talk about things on the internet, so i have to do it in a way that's really confusing for y'all. sorry, y'all.
anyhow i recently heard something that makes me think that i don't want pickles badly enough. i don't even know if i want pickles at all. and i think my gut has been telling me that for a long time, but that i'm going to wind up riding this wave until it dashes me up against the shore, battered and gasping for air.
because i'm afraid that getting off now will leave me wondering "whatif?" for the rest of my life.
and this is my ONLY chance get pickles. i hope i have the stomach for pickles.
edited to add: hi kids! after getting some emails, IMs, text messages and phone calls, i feel it's really important for me to say that I AM NOT PREGNANT. that is all.
another story about pukes on his tie
following up to my preceding story about pukes on his tie, i was reminded of another run-in i had with him.
at the prospective students weekend, there is a social gathering at a pub/restaurant sort of thing where potential students come to meet with current students at my school. i went to this my first year, to the lazy dog tavern and met up with some friends. while there, pukes on his tie was already there, and pretty likkered up.
he kept following me around and telling me how the police are within their rights to pull you over for riding your bike intoxicated, but that he rides his bike while intoxicated because they almost never do, and he's probably not going to kill anyone.
about 2 hours later, having moved over to the stadium, we were getting ready to leave. unbeknownst to me, pukes on his tie showed up there too. as i was standing outside waiting for the people i was driving (i was DD - usually am) and he wobbily rode up to me on my bike.
and said, "i'm terrible with names, but i'll never forget yours, danielle."
rememberies presented in a not-so-lucid, highly tangential manner
in october 2004, i posted a story about the proof that our administrator in grad school would post ANYTHING on the student listerv. among remarkable things of note, i appear to have used capitalization in my sentences and of proper nouns, and not merely as a way to illuminate words and phrases of GREAT IMPORTANCE.
but i am losing my grip here. i'll give you a minute to get over your astonishment.
better?
okay, well anyhow, the sentence that i captioned in that letter ending in "...committing my first major faux pa [sic] of the night, and hurled all over my tie in the back yard." gave that guy the nickname that would haunt him all through grad school: Pukes on his Tie. well, he was also called dauber because he looked like dauber from coach*.
anyhow, the other memorable section in that embarassing letter posted to the listserv, pukes on his tie tells a story regarding how after he hurled on his tie, he considered going inside, brushing his teeth and getting someone to make out with him, because he'd done it before**. thankfully, he passed out before he could try his sweet, sweet moves on any of us chicks.
*while doing a google search for images of dauber***, i found a blog devoted to the show coach by someone who's neither a fan nor remembers the show that well. also, bill fagerbakke was born in fontucky?
**crystal posted a comment about how she made out with a guy and found out he had just thrown up all over the floor which is why i thought of pukes on his tie...
edited to add: *** it appears i forgot to ever link to a picture of dauber but linked to fagerbakke's IMDB website. i'm such a dingbat tonight.
crossword
crossword
Originally uploaded by swandive00.
eight years ago, i had long hair, was totally skinny, had nary a wrinkle and was good at crossword puzzles.
today, things are a little different.
but this is my favorite picture of me possibly ever.
sappy girl
- i was being a girl tonight (a.k.a. watching grey's anatomy which i primarily love for the sure fire cry and incredible music) when i fell in love with joshua radin's "the fear you won't fall*" (hear it on myspace!)
- mr. pants is taking a trip tomorrow. it's stupid, but it's the first time we'll be in different states since we've been together. he'll be back before i would normally see him again. but because i am a cheeseball, i will miss him. we spent the whole weekend with each other's families - nuclear and extended. it was a very good weekend indeed.
- grey's anatomy is my current obsession. how was i not watching this earlier than the summer rerun season?
- and i feel sadness for bindie sue and bob and terri.
* "the fear you won't fall"
joshua radin
Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me air's getting thin but I'm trying
I'm breathing in
Come find me
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone
But I wish you'd call
Thought being alone
Was better than was better than
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
Can't get my mind off of you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
interesting
the september magknits is up. and of all things, i like a lot of the patterns. usually i find them pretty hit or miss, but the majority of them are decent!
and i find myself thinking that i'll try a top down sock to see if i like that better, and that i'll start with the snowflake sock.
and i further think that i'll frog the long-suffering elfine's socks and use the knitpicks essentials to try them out.
you may return to your long weekend.
